


Not a Textbook Romance, and That's Ok

by NoodleStories



Category: A3! (Anime), A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Advice, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Coming Out, Everyone present is ace, Kazunari is a good guy, M/M, Muku is mentioned a fair amount, Rated T for language, Relationship Discussions, Rurikawa Yuki-centric, Tenma and Yuki are in love but still gremlins, Yuki doubts himself, lack of communication turning into good communication, maybe a bit of a character study but idk, there's like one kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoodleStories/pseuds/NoodleStories
Summary: “Yuki, have you ever considered that you might be ace?”Yuki blinked at him, this time not missing the fact that Kazunari had dropped the nickname.  “Ace?”“Yeah, ace.  Asexual.  It means that--”He held up a hand.  “I know what it means.”--Yuki can't understand why he doesn't want to kiss his boyfriend.  Kazunari offers him advice with a side of ice cream.
Relationships: Miyoshi Kazunari & Rurikawa Yuki, Rurikawa Yuki/Sumeragi Tenma
Comments: 22
Kudos: 39





	Not a Textbook Romance, and That's Ok

**Author's Note:**

> *gets close to microphone* I'm projecting

Yuki stood outside room 202, fist hovering over the door as he hyped himself up to knock. His other hand gripped the edge of his nightgown, and he cursed his uncharacteristic hesitance over just knocking on a fucking door.

He just… it was kind of a heavy topic, and Muku was the first person he thought to talk to about it. He was some sort of romance expert supposedly, what with all the shojo manga he reads. It was Muku who was his cheerleader when he set his pride aside long enough to ask Tenma out, and it was Muku who gushed over them the most when they made it official.

_“I really can’t express how happy I am for you two!” he had said through his tears. “You’ll get to go on dates, and hold hands and share food, and-and cuddle and even_ kiss! _And sparks will fly when you touch, and when you kiss it’ll be like fireworks, and aaAAH, I’m blushing just thinking about it!”_

So why was it that his and Tenma’s relationship didn’t feel anything like that?

He knew he shouldn’t take Muku’s words too seriously, since the boy was very prone to hyperbole. That didn’t stop him from comparing them to the expectations those manga laid out. Every date, every small touch, he couldn’t help the worries that whispered in the back of his mind whenever he tried to sleep that something was different. Missing.

But he also didn’t want to upset Muku, or make him feel guilty for filling Yuki with false pretenses about what a relationship was supposed to be like and feel like. It’s not like either of them had had any experience with them when that conversation had happened. It was possible that Muku had just been wrong about it. But then again, he had sounded so _certain_.

It wasn’t so late that he’d be asleep, right? Maybe it was. Maybe he should just forget about it. He started to drop his hand and froze when he heard a voice softly call his name.

“Yukki?”

He turned his head to find Kazunari a few feet down the hallway, his portfolio tucked under one hand. He offered a smile, but he must have been tired because he struggled to make it reach his eyes. Probably had a cram day at Uni.

“Didja need something from Mukkun?” he prompted after Yuki didn’t say anything for too long. “I mean, or me, but I’m gonna guess it was probably Mukkun, haha.”

“Uh,” was Yuki’s incredibly eloquent response when it registered that he was being addressed. “No. I didn’t. Or, it wasn’t important.”

“Hmm, are you sure? Because you know you can always tell Dr. Kazu what’s on your mind!”

Yuki rolled his eyes at that. “Since when were you my therapist? No thanks.”

“Yukki, I’m hurt!” Kazunari clutched his heart, and Yuki rolled his eyes again. “I’d never impersonate a professional; I’m just looking out for one of my two favorite residents of room 201!”

“There’s _only_ two. And I said I’m fine, so give it a break, Dr. McExtrovert.”

Kazunari did not give it a break, though, and instead let out an exaggerated gasp. “It’s not about Tenten, is it?”

At that, Yuki tensed up again. He recognized Kazunari’s tone well enough to know it was a shot in the dark, maybe even a blind attempt to lighten his mood, but he still felt his blood pressure spike at the suggestion. There wasn’t an obvious problem between them, was there? “No?”

Kazunari frowned. “You hesitated.” He set his portfolio down against the wall next to his door before asking, more quietly, “Did you guys have a fight?”

“No!” he answered, this time much too quickly. Kazunari looked at him, unconvinced, so he took a steely breath and started again. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just…”

He trailed off, not sure how much information he wanted to grant the other with. Regardless, what would he even say? He took to staring at the wall until Kazunari stopped analyzing his face--he could _feel_ his gaze like it was physically pressing on him--unable to meet his eyes but also unable to move. His feet felt glued to the ground, even as all his instincts told him to run.

Eventually, the elder freed Yuki from his rock and hard place by reaching to pick up his portfolio again. “Well, I’m gonna put this away, and then I’m gonna maybe grab some ice cream from the kitchen! Gotta get a cute summer sundae pic before Hyodle eats it all, y’know? Ah, but it’s late, so I guess I should eat it downstairs.” Yuki was about to ask why the hell he was telling him all this, when Kazunari winked. “If you want any, lemme know and I’ll whip you up the best late night snack you’ve ever had!”

And with that, he squeezed past Yuki into his room. Having to move out of the way to let him through and free from prying eyes, Yuki’s feet finally allowed him to drag them back to his own room, his hand freezing on the doorknob this time instead of above the wood.

He knew that that was Kazunari’s way to offer an ear while letting Yuki save face if he decided not to accept. And he knew that really, there was no reason not to accept. Kazunari wasn’t a bad person to talk to--far from it, actually. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to him about this certain topic when he could barely get himself to _try_ to ask Muku.

But Tenma was on the other side of this door, and he didn’t want to have to deal with the way he would definitely also notice something was wrong. And at least he’d get some ice cream out of Kazunari.

Sighing softly, he turned to meet him in the kitchen.

When he got down, there was already a bowl of strawberry ice cream waiting for him. “What, were you going to eat both of these if I didn’t come?” he snarked, rolling his eyes but accepting the spoon that was handed to him.

“Maybe~?” Kazunari shot him some finger guns, but it was pretty obvious that he hadn’t remembered to consider that Yuki might not come. Well, Yuki _had_ come, so he guessed it didn’t really matter in the end. “Anyway, take your time eating. I don’t have to be anywhere until after noon tomorrow.” He leaned back in his chair, twisting his phone in his hand to find some unnatural angle to make his already melting ice cream look better.

Yuki took the invitation to eat a couple bites as he willed himself to act for the third time that night. Kazunari didn’t seem in any rush to get him to talk, which he couldn’t deny he appreciated, and it didn’t even seem like he’d complain if Yuki changed his mind and left after finishing his treat. Which he was certainly considering, since Friendly McExtrovert wasn’t really the sort of person he had wanted to get advice from.

But his common sense reminded him that Kazunari would know better than Muku, and it wasn’t like he had never helped him out before. “Hey, you’ve been on dates, right?”

Kazunari made a small noise of surprise (Yuki guessed he wasn’t the only one thinking this might be a bust) before nodding. “Oh yeah, totes! I’ve been on lots of dates! Granted not all of them were serious and not all of them were good, but _c’est la vie_ , as they say.”

“So,” Yuki followed up, but found himself again at a loss for words. His grip on his spoon tightened. How was he supposed to explain this?

Kazunari got the memo to continue instead. “You said you weren’t fighting, right?” A nod from Yuki. “Ok, so forgive me for getting right into it, but is it a Tenten thing or a Yukki thing?”

“It’s me,” Yuki sighed. He pushed a sprinkle off the rim and back into his bowl. “I don’t know, I just. I feel… _weird_ , when we do date stuff.”

Kazunari finally ate a scoop of his own sundae. “What do you mean by ‘date stuff?’”

“Date stuff” was certainly easier to pinpoint than “weird;” Yuki had to give Kazunari more credit for this sort of thing. “I guess kissing? Is the first thing that comes to mind. Or like, holding hands.”

“Do you not like it when you guys do that stuff?”

“No? I don’t think I don’t like it?” Yuki pushed his hand through his hair. This was much harder than he wanted it to be. “It’s more like, I’m afraid of it, somehow. Like he’ll kiss me and it’s fine, but then suddenly it’s not fine anymore and I almost freak out. And, it’s fine when he kisses me but I don’t think I want to kiss him? I feel weird even thinking about it. I’m supposed to want to kiss my boyfriend, right? But I, I don’t. I don’t want to kiss my boyfriend.”

Kazunari furrowed his brows, before his face relaxed in understanding, although Yuki didn’t know what there was to understand. “You’re worried you don’t actually love him.”

Yuki felt his stomach plummet at the suggestion. Way to somehow hit the nail on the head when Yuki didn’t even know where the hammer was.

Was that what this was? Did he not love him? Didn’t that mean they were doomed to fail? Tenma had always seemed into him enough to want to keep things going at least. But if Yuki didn’t feel the same way, was he just leading him on? Or was he supposed to stick things out until he did feel that way? He wasn’t even sure of if he did or didn’t yet. Maybe he _did_ , and didn’t anymore, and this was all a huge waste of time. Or maybe he loved the _idea_ of Tenma, but--

“Sorry, ‘love’ might be a little strong for someone your age,” Kazunari chuckled awkwardly, snapping Yuki out of his whirlwind of thoughts. “Also, I totes saw your inner monologue there, and I seriously didn’t mean to freak you out, so sorry for that too. But anyway, it’s fine if that’s the case! You aren’t gonna love all the people you date, and that’s fine, and sometimes you will but not right away, and that’s fine too. As long as you _want_ to love each other you can keep pushing through.”

Well, he certainly didn’t _not_ want to love Tenma, so that cleared things up a tiny bit.

“But if it’s honesty hour, tbh I’m pretty sure you already do love him.”

And that jumbled everything back up.

“Then what’s the problem?!” he snapped, louder than he intended. Kazunari flinched the smallest bit, so he lowered his voice back down. “Why do I only love him when we aren’t loving each other? If I love him, then why am I so scared? Is there…” his voice dropped to a whisper, “is there something wrong with me?”

“Absolutely not.” Kazunari reached across the table to put his hands on Yuki’s shoulders. His tone and grip were firm, much firmer than he was used to from Kazunari. “Yuki, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

Yuki’s breath stuttered. This was stupid, he wasn’t going to cry, he wasn’t. “But--”

“Nothing.” Kazunari nodded down to Yuki’s ice cream, and, getting the hint, Yuki shoveled another spoonful into his mouth. The chill helped ground him, and the taste of strawberry and cream gave him something to focus on aside from whatever abyss he was about to throw himself into. He closed his eyes, focusing on the taste in his mouth and weight on his shoulders, until his worries stopped being screams and went back to being whispers. He was fine. There hadn’t been anything wrong with him before, and that hasn’t changed. Nobody would look at him funny or whisper behind his back here. He was safe to exist here. He was safe.

Kazunari watched as he came down from his panic, and when Yuki let out a shaky but more stable breath, he squeezed his shoulders and let go. “Yuki, have you ever considered that you might be ace?”

Yuki blinked at him, this time not missing the fact that Kazunari had dropped the nickname. “Ace?”

“Yeah, ace. Asexual. It means that--”

He held up a hand. “I know what it means.”

Honestly, he couldn’t say the thought had never crossed his mind before, but he also hadn’t ever given it much thought. He just knew he liked girls, and he liked Tenma so he supposed he also liked boys, and he assumed that that was that. Did it even matter? It’s not like they had gotten anywhere near _that_ sort of thing. “But I mean, this is about kissing. Holding hands. Vanilla shit.”

Kazunari laughed a bit at Yuki’s word choice. “There’s a whole spectrum, though, y’know? Some aces are fine with everything except for the not-vanilla ‘shit’, and some aren’t ok with _anything_. And some are ok with some things, but not others.” He put his finger on his chin for a moment, like he was thinking. “Take me for example! There’s a pretty big amount I’m ok with, but that doesn’t stop other things from being a big no-no, and not all of those things are rated M. Like this is between you and me, but I hate it when people touch my butt, even when I’m wearing clothes.”

“I did _not_ need to know that.” Yuki pulled an over-exaggerated face while the other’s words sunk in. “Wait, you mean you’re…?”

He puffed out his chest for effect. “And proud, baby! Most of my bad dates were with people who didn’t get that.”

Yuki set his spoon in his now-empty bowl. “Sorry you had to deal with that,” he said quietly.

“It’s fine; it’s not like I was ever in any danger. They were just kinda rude and made it about them. Helped me dodge some bullets, at least. But you’re right that it sucks. Opening up to someone only to be told that you’re wrong.”

“It does.” Yuki’s fist clenched. He knew exactly how it felt; every day of his life he knew how that felt. Knowing that Kazunari--bright, sunny Kazunari of all people--went through that too both comforted him and angered him. It wasn’t fair. People weren’t fair.

What if--

Kazunari somehow noticed his train of thought before it could even start, and interrupted it with, “Tenten isn’t like that, though. There’s no way he’ll think any less of you. And in the 0.000001% chance that he does, you can totally take him. He looks like he has weak knees.”

That managed to get a genuine laugh out of Yuki, and Kazunari grinned in return. “I don’t know if it’s the right label, but I’ll think about it more, I guess.”

“Uh huh, that’s all you gotta do!” Kazunari nodded enthusiastically, the heavy atmosphere almost completely evaporated now. “Think about it, and decide on your own time. But if you’re really uncomfortable with some of the stuff you guys are doing, even if it’s the most vanilla shit in the world, you should tell him ASAP.”

“Yeah,” Yuki agreed, the smile not gone from his face. “I will. Thanks, Kaz.”

\--

The opportunity presented itself a few days later. Yuki hadn’t intended to bring it up until he felt that way, since he held onto a small hope that maybe it’d be ok now that he understood it was fine if it wasn’t. Tenma had to shoot for a new drama, though, and Yuki had to finish the costumes for the Winter Troupe’s next play, so they were both busy the next few days.

Tenma was always a little clingier when they had to ignore each other, and even though it was only a little while, this time was no exception.

The date was nice. They went to the aquarium, which Yuki always loved, and then to a new cafe that was doing latte art. They counted the eels, Yuki stole Tenma’s biscuits, Tenma fruitlessly complained about it, and the whole time Yuki repeated “I’m on a date with Tenma” in his head like a mantra and found that he didn’t mind it at all.

On the way back, they held hands, and while it was a little hot for it and their hands were both a little sweaty, as he intertwined their fingers and Tenma gave his hand a squeeze, he found that he didn’t mind this either.

At the door to their room, Tenma laughed softly, as if he was afraid their peaceful moment would dissolve into their usual bickering if he was too loud. (He was probably right.) “I always feel like I’m supposed to see you off like in my dramas, but we live in the same room.”

“Pfft.” Yuki half-held back his snort, and he couldn’t help the smirk that broke out when Tenma nearly pouted in return. “I mean, you can. It would just be pointless.”

“Well,” Tenma straightened the hem of his shirt and his posture, dropping Yuki’s hand to get into character. Yuki normally resented the height difference between them, but he had to admit that it sometimes made for some attractive views. Muku would probably scream if he saw this.

“Well?” Yuki parroted, as Tenma did little more than stare at his face. “This isn’t going to win you any Oscars.”

“Shut up! I was just,” Tenma moved to cup Yuki’s cheek but instead ended up fiddling with his hair. “I was deciding which of my arsenal to pull up!”

“Oh, your arsenal, huh? Wow, I’m dating a real lady killer here.” He laughed, the moment all but gone, but this mood somehow more satisfying.

Tenma found some sort of opening, though, and took it, pushing the lock he was playing with behind Yuki’s ear. “I’d rather be a Yuki killer, personally.”

Yuki’s breath hitched, though he refused to let him win this fight so easily. “Which movie was that from?”

“Baby Steps 2.” With that admission, he closed the gap between them.

Yuki felt warm, and the soft pressure against his lips felt nice. They fit together easily, and the thought that they were a perfect fit for each other briefly came to mind before it floated away with all his other thoughts. He liked this. He felt nice and warm and loved and he liked this.

He moved his hand to the back of Tenma’s neck, more to fabricate a sense of control than to actually keep him in place. He let his fingers play with the orange hairs at the nape of his neck, and Tenma pressed a little harder in response. He liked this.

Really, he felt like he could melt here. Tenma’s hands were cupping his cheeks like he had initially intended, and he once again felt so cherished and _wanted_ that nothing else mattered. Tenma tilted his head, and Yuki felt a tongue prod at his lips.

He didn’t like this.

“Wait,” he protested, breaking the kiss and pushing at Tenma’s chest to get him to follow suit. His heart rate skyrocketed, and his head spun, and not in a good way. “Wait.”

Tenma did as he was told, stepping back. He started to drop his hands, but Yuki grabbed them, holding them in place. “What is it?”

Tenma wouldn’t mind. Tenma was better than that. Kazunari’s reassurances echoed in the back of his head to drown out the worries that started speaking up again. He forced himself to look up and meet Tenma’s eyes, and he seemed so genuinely concerned behind the surface confusion that he actually managed to believe it.

However, it didn’t make it easier to find the right way to say it. “I don’t,” he began, then swallowed thickly. “Um.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve stopped all of a sudden. Am I doing something wrong?” Tenma asked, his worry more evident now. “Hey, you know you can tell me, right? As your troupe leader, roommate, _and_ boyfriend, you--”

“Yeah, I know I can trust you,” Yuki breathed almost inaudibly, but Tenma heard it and shut up anyway. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Not really, at least.” Tenma’s thumbs rubbed circles into his cheeks, gently urging him to continue. “I just. I don’t really… like making out? Not just with you specifically, like in general.”

He continued forcing himself to hold the other’s gaze and not squeeze his eyes shut, not backing down but still searching his face for any hint of disgust or betrayal.

Just like Kazunari had said, there was none. “So you mean it’s just like, not for you?”

“I guess, yeah. It’s not for me.”

Tenma laughed. Yuki’s face fell in frustration, and he opened his mouth to ask what the hell his problem was before he felt Tenma’s forehead press against his own. “Oh my god. Thank god.”

… 

“Huh?”

Tenma’s grin was equally blinding and confusing. “That’s fine. That’s so fine; you don’t even know how fine that is.”

“What are you talking about, Hack?”

“What you said.” He took a deep breath, as if preparing himself. “To be completely honest, I was only doing that stuff because I thought you wanted it.”

Yuki blinked at him twice. “You don’t like it either?”

“Not really.”

Realization crashed on him like a tidal wave. “You idiot, why didn’t you tell me?!”

Tenma sputtered and pulled back. “You didn’t say anything either!”

“Oh my god,” Yuki echoed Tenma’s earlier sentiment with a groan. “We could have saved ourselves so much trouble. We’re _both_ idiots.”

Tenma replied with a mentally exhausted sigh. “We’re the worst.”

“Grade A trash.”

Tenma smiled again, and Yuki felt himself return it despite himself. “So do you want to have this conversation now, or do you wanna get some sleep first?”

“I’m literally never going to be this open again in our lives, so we should take advantage of it while we can,” Yuki replied, only half joking. He turned to unlock the door. “But let’s go inside. I don’t want to have to deal with Azami if he comes out and hears us say the word ‘kiss.’”

“Hear, hear,” Tenma muttered, following him into their shared room. He turned the main light on and settled on one of the armchairs. Yuki followed and sat on the other, reaching out his hand which Tenma took. “So I’m guessing you’re fine with this?” He lifted their hands to elaborate.

“Yeah, this is fine,” Yuki replied simply and honestly. There was no room for anything but sincerity here. “Kissing. Are you ok with some things and not others, or is it like not at all?”

“I don’t think I like it at all. Maybe? I think I like giving kisses but not being kissed, so proper ones blur that line too much for me to really enjoy it. But I mean, I can manage if you...”

“No, that’s fine. I get it. I like it when you kiss my face. And my neck too, I think,” Yuki added more quietly. “But nowhere else. And I don’t want to do it, myself. So I get the confusion.”

Tenma hummed.

“And if you don’t like proper kisses then we don’t have to do them. Don’t force yourself.”

A sigh of relief, or maybe gratitude. “Ok, yeah. Thanks.”

“Also, I don’t know if it’ll happen, but my preferences might change later. Dr. Friendly McExtrovert said there’s a huge spectrum and all,” Yuki explained. He still wasn’t sure if it was the right spectrum to assign himself to, but it fit right now, and it seemed to fit Tenma as well. “So if that happens.”

“Just tell me, yeah. I’ll adjust to you.”

“But you have to tell me too. None of that ‘I can manage’ bull.”

“Sounds good,” Tenma agreed.

“But no making out.”

“None.”

“Glad we’re in agreement.”

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

Tenma bowed, and Yuki huffed out a half-giggle.

“Ok, but really,” said Tenma, looking away and scratching the back of his head. “Thanks for finally saying something. I know I should have, but I wanted you to be happy, so. So I guess what I’m saying is I’m glad I can _actually_ make you happy now.”

Yuki rubbed his thumb over his boyfriend’s knuckles. “Yeah, me too,” he whispered. “But, I mean, I _was_ happy. I’ve always been happy to be with you. I would just get confused and scared because it felt like the textbook romances didn’t fit us. But it turns out that it’s ok if they don’t.” He nodded, more to himself than to Tenma. “We’re ok.”

Tenma leaned over and kissed his forehead. “You were right; you’re never going to be this sweet again.”

“Hah?!” Yuki recoiled. “Well now you’ve ruined it! I’ll never say anything nice to you ever again! What the _fuck_ , Tenma?!”

He tried to pull his hand back, but Tenma held on tight. “Which is _why_ , I’m gonna appreciate this night until I die! Let me finish before you get all defensive!”

Yuki gave up, resting his head on their still-joined hands to hide the satisfied pink on his cheeks. “After all that, we’re still trash.”

“Speak for yourself.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, the only noise the whirr of the AC above. For once, there were no worries whispering in Yuki’s mind, and he felt like he might be able to sleep well again. He made a mental note to thank Kazunari again later.

The quiet was broken by Tenma’s awkward whisper. “Is cuddling still ok?”  
  
“Cuddling,” Yuki accented his point by climbing into the other armchair, “is definitely still ok.”

_Yeah,_ he thought, as warm arms wrapped around his shoulders. _He really loves Tenma_.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaa hello this is my first contribution to the A3! fandom and it's completely self-indulgent
> 
> Originally this was going to be from Tenma's POV, and then Yuki actually WAS going to talk to Muku, but the story started writing itself and now we have this lol
> 
> Remember kids, everyone, ace or not, is ok with different things and it's important to figure out where you and your partner(s) stand in that regard.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed~ and feel free to yell about A3! with me on my new tumblr (@natsu-tte-noodle) ^^


End file.
